She Loves Smiles: little words

I have something for you:

Sometimes in life we feel this annoying, pushy feeling, that’s telling us we are wasting our life. It’s not just a suspicion, it’s because we are wasting our life. We have this guilty feeling telling us: ‘I know I’m better than what I’m portraying myself to be, I’m bound to do something more than this.’

It’s about taking yourself more seriously. The world around us will take you more seriously, if you’ll take yourself seriously. And I’m not saying, taking yourself more seriously in an ego kind of way.

It’s funny to me, that our deepest fears are not found in the darkness, but are actually hidden in the great potential we have. Not the darkness, but the light scares us. And we, as human beings, being afraid as we are, of our own greatness, we don’t GO for it.

We are afraid other people around us will pull us down. But let me tell you something, if you really GO for it, there will always be people that are going to be sceptic about you and will pull you down. There’s always a risk of failure. If you really go for it in life, there are no guarantees of success,

But if you DON’T, I can tell you what you can be guaranteed, that icky feeling deep down in your heart: ‘I’m not going to do that, no, I’m not doing it, I know there’s something more better out there for me, but I’m not making any steps.’

This feeling, this sticky, pushy, annoying feeling, that’s making you feel exhausted, will never end, unless you are able to say: ‘I am going to turn my back on living a limited life, and I’m at least going for a life that’s lived to the very fullest.’ And with walking side by side with God, I will make it through.


tell me, what are you unnecessarily scared of?



cylia loves smiles

She Loves Smiles: little words

I have something for you:


When we live without Him, we only have our hope..

Hoping everything will be just fine..

Just, hoping.

but with God we forget the hope, because we already know..


we know our lives will be fullfilled with the biggest joy we could ever imagine
and we know we will not have these icky, empty feelings anymore.. we know.

we, as human beings alone, are constantly dependent on the circumstances that
may appear.. but we can't control these circumstances.. and we can't control being
a victim of certain circumstances that may occure, but we can decide if we want
to stay a victim..

You see, God gives us choices.. and it's really: choose for the bad or the good option?

anxiety, impatient, arrogance, anger, envy, jealousy, egoïsm, cranky and so on.. are all
qualtities of a human being.. and maybe the ickiest one will be the constant fear that's
surrounding us.. 'what if i don't look good infront of everybody,' 'what if i'm too ugly?,'
'what if i'm not 'cool' enough?,' 'what if i can't do it?'

when we think about the details that might not even stop us in our daily lives, we seem
to feel guilty.. but why? don't feel guilty.. you are worth it.
we have to know that we are not bad, but just vulnerable.

how relaxing would it be if we would be able to control all of these type of emotions?
So much unecessary weight will be lifted up from our shoulders, really.

What type of emotion/quality would you like to get rid off?


cylia loves smiles

She Loves Smiles: little words

I have something for you:

today I'm going to write my little words beginning with the basics again.. What got us here today? What or who made us feel loved? Who are we?

through all our struggles, through all our hate, through all our emotions, through all our love, we always seem to say: 'I can't help it, that is just the way I am.' In some kind of way we can't help it, because of the fact we are human beings.

we are human beings, as in: humanity is insecure, which is another word for fear, fear is caused by the main fact human long for being accepted and we will be accepted through love and love comes back to God: God is love.

We can't do anything about being a victim of circumstances that may occure, but we can choose if we want to stay a victim.

Sometimes we do not realize how much we've weakened through all our years on this very planet and might not see how much damage we have caused to others or ourselves. It's always like we know better, but we do worse.. we just expect God to do magic..

When believing in God, it does not mean He can make away all of our negative experiences, but we can walk by his side! You will succeed.

Another thing is: why are we resistant to God?
Let me ask you: Is God good? Does God speaks the truth? Does God radiates only positivity? Does God gives us what we want (when obeying the right rules)?
The answer in the back of your head might go immidiately to a Yes.
Then why are you resistant then?
you know what, we are just afraid to lose control..
lose control over whatever happends, whenever, wherever.

When we fail in whatever what happends in our lives, we must know that it is not God's purpose to let us fail, but it takes somewhat to succeed..

God understands us.

If we have problems, secrets, things that make us feel ashamed.. don't hide it. Because this is exactly what Satan wants us to do.. keep it save somewhere locked up in our minds, keep our masks on.. Think about how much it will hurt you: the only one suffering is you.
What about: admit your problems and ask for help.

We are human and God is good.. we are not bad, but vulnerable.

I mean, why not listen to the words of God? What is a couple of years of a life of enternity?? (which you will get when believing in our saviour) Bow to God when you are asked to bow to someone else.

It's not our fault the world is dirty and we are vulnerable..

We are the dirty ones, but He has the power to clean us. Go start running to God and not from God. Whenever you made a confession last week, last week confession does not do anything for today's sin. Self-control is an example of something that you see in us; how God lives in us.

A lot of people struggle with shame.. and this will effect the relationship with God. and in times like these, it's easier to know that God is by our side. Our goal is always self-control.. It's not all about that you stumble and fall, but that you get up and don't give up.
And it's not to get rid of the problem, but how you manage it.

He's a good Father and we are right to ask.

Wishful thinking is not what Christianity is about..

when things are going slow.. don't be unpatient.. it took us 20 years to be 20 years or it took 40 years to be 40.. you get the point.. it could not go any faster.

It's also like being a parent, you can get mad at your daughter or get irritated, but she can not make you love her more.. She might never know how much you love her.
Until she gets her own children and comes back running to you: 'Ohh, now I get it!'

You know, what we see as right or wrong, is different with each and one of us.. Our perception of the world is our reality.. We might not always know what we need, but God knows Everything.

When in times of grieve, or sadness, confusion or any negativity don't go dig deep when you don't know it for sure, wait until it's clear. Because you will come to ridiculous conclusions..

He is good and wants us to be clean and not full of poison.

Oh, and if something did not happen yet, we should keep our heads help up high, because yet is a very important word..

And when God touched us, we start to think: 'And now you go start to touch me, after I've gone through all these negative things?' But you know what, now, maybe ten years later you have gotten so much more and you have experienced so much other things.. you would not have this if you would've gone through another path.

We are hunger for love.. someone who's really hungry, even the bitter thing will taste good. So many people settle for less.. For example: have lots of sex with different people, to feel loved..
but we do not just want that kind of love, we really want someone to put his arm around us and say everything will be ok.

But what is love? we immidiately think about passion, the feeling, sex etc. But the word 'Love' is overused.. because we love our dog, we love swimming, we love travelling, we love our mom, we love this and that.. To love someone/something is to value it..

Value humanity, your neighbour, value someone else how you would like to be valued.
Because if you don't: whenever you will be alone, depressed and feel not okay and experienced negative things, you might not be valued by a specific someone in your life, or get help at all, because you did not valued another..

We want to be accepted.. we have a mask on.. We have to accept the fact that people will always be sceptic about us.. We should not worry if we would take our masks off.. we immidiately think: 'if people knew the worst of me, will they still love me??'

But you know what?
God knows all your secrets, all your flaws, but God still loves you!
He rather haves you messy than not at all.

We have to know that we are already accepted by God, we don't have to be perfect and then run to God. Thank you Jesus, that you value us.

we are happy with the ones who are happy, and we grieve with the ones who grieve.. we don't always do that in this generation.. as I already told: human beings feel insecure. Satan then gets a hold on our jealousy and envy.. we try to get what other have.. but God will not give you what others have.. You can fail if you envy other people.

If someone is happy, but to you it's already old news about the reason he/she is happy, still share this happiness with him/her, because this specific person may just come out of a very harsh period.. you never know. We value other people, because He valued us first.

And what about: 'But it's not fair! She/He gets way more than what I get!' God has no favourites.. or don't you believe Him?

There are no words to make pain stop, but we can put our arms around them to help..
Why? Because we value them.

In a world of pain, we sometimes doubt our values and if we put our arm around someone and see their pain, we will value them: isn't that beautiful?

We don't have to go back..
because we got something way bigger and way better! Let's celebrate life!

thank you.



cylia loves smiles

She Loves Smiles: little words

I have something for you:

When we are just either not in the mood or just aren't happy at a certain moment and we see people smiling (at us) or being genuinely happy around us.. it just sometimes makes us feel a little bit icky.

But why can't we just be happy for those (strangers)? Is there some sort of constant rivalry we're in? Is it the fear of being.. what? Being alone? Not loved? Not be like the 'perfect' image the media has set for us? There should not be any fear for these.

Lets lay it down a little bit more practical..

whenever we even go out of our own home, we make sure our outfits, hair and make-up are either picture perfect or atleast presentable to others.
Without showing us to the outside world, we are already giving ourselves so much anxiety to be like a certain image or else we feel totally out of place.
Because what are we in the end.. with all the clothes, money, fake this and fake that?
material things will eventually slip away..
so lets built up an inner strength that'll last forever.

and if we go to school/work, especially at school, there will always be this constant tension between who's prettier than who? At school there will be things done (besides schoolwork) just because some of us look a certain way.. Why? Is he/she prettier than him/her? Why? does she have more blond hair, bigger boobs and more expensive clothes than you? Does he have a six pack, better hair, bigger mouth and has it going on with the ladies? Why is this intimidating to some of us? These people who are, according to the media, the perfect people, should not be intimidating to us at all. Just like famous people, they are just people, like us.

We are led to believe that whatever the media says to us is the right thing to do or the right way to look: NO, not at all. get this outta your head, missy/mister. There is way more that meets the eye to us and to the world itself. When we see the bigger picture and come to a point where we will embrace the love and the hate thats surrounding us, we will shine so bright: absolutely breathtaking. But it's a choice, God gave us choices, it's eventually up to you.

Ive said it so many times and I say it again: Love is the answer. Such a little word, but has so much great, beautiful consequences.

we can whine about the stupidest and smallest things.. really, so much love to embrace.. why do we keep embracing the bad and the fears we have in the back of our minds? When we experience negativity.. we must not be overwhelmed by it.. we will be a true winner when we will not for even the slightest second think about giving up and knowing that going through our struggles will give us ultimate strength.

if we don't change.. we will not grow.. and that means we are standing still.. and that means things will not change.. and if we are not growing, we are not really living our lives.

whatever you are going through, how weird people may respond to things, how fast circumstances might change, how fearful we might live our lives.. do not forget that:


you are so special.. so unqiue.. you can reach the impossible.. you are so, so worth it!



cylia loves smiles

"Cylia, your ego is sometimes really in the way of who you really are."

"Yes. I know. Sometimes I let my pride and my ego in the way of what I really want to do in life."

"Why would you be someone else than yourself?"

"Because even though I've grown up here and there, we still live in a world that has a certain image for everyone how they should be or not.. and that sometimes can turn into me, wanting to be someone I am not."

"Aren't you tired of being so uptight all the time?"

"I'm not so uptight anymore, because right now I feel peace in life, because I have made the decision to live my life to the fullest: is to be happy and be genuinely myself. From the age.. lets say, fourteen till sixteen, something drastically changed in myself. It's of course being a teenager (thinking that the whole world revolved around me), but also something in my mind just made things ten times worse."

"And what about the negative experiences? How do you deal with that?"

"You know, what's past is past. and that’s me, saying this right now. But maybe a year ago, I would not be able to just say this. It's to forgive and forget. It's not like you can't think of your past at all, but it's knowing the fact that, that happened, and that right now, that's not important anymore. Because we are not held back by the love we didn't receive in the past, but by the love we are not willing to receive in the present. And what is negative? Some may see something so not important to others, as something oh so negative and the other way around. But whenever we see something as negative, we have to think if it's reasonable (and not just reasonable in our point of view), if it's not some sort of thinking because other people you adore think it's something negative, if it's not some sort of ego thing (that we let our fear, pride get the best of us).
And if we learn to forgive people or even things, we will make a whole new path free for ourselves: to get unnecessary weight off of our shoulders. Because really, little frustration and little annoying things that happens, starts with unnecessary weight upon our shoulders."

"Yes. but you know, a lot of people say that they know these stuff already.. and if that's really the truth, why do people keep on getting themselves tangled up in unnecessary trouble?"

"A lot of people do just know these stuff yes. How to be happier, how to be themselves etc. But there's the problem: they know what to do, but they are not willing to stand up for the truth.
I mean.. who wants to be the odd one out? Nobody, really. We are led by our fear and led to believe that every media illusion around us is the truth. It's really sad to see, not in like a pathetic way, but it's sad, because we are so beautiful, but we sometimes just portray ourselves as ugly beasts to be honest. I can be so ugly when I'm really angry (that does not happen very often with me these days, luckily). I can be popular without being rude or look like the 'perfect image' of Hollywood: is to be, just myself. And it’s really the little things people forget, that can turn into something big. For example: bullying. Well, some bullies are so incredibly talented and intelligent, on picking up stuff very quickly, but they just use their energy for something negative, which is a real shame. They know it’ll hurt these kids, but they just simply don’t care, which is another real shame, because really what they are doing, is living in a big, big illusion and big, big lie. And one bully is scared for another bully, so they’ll keep on feeling tension from each other, which will not stop any bully or stop any little frustration from getting blown out of proportion. Why is there a need to create so much drama, really? And to be someone we are just (face it) not.”

“So.. with all the different problems we all have, we just make things even more complicated than they really are.. it’s just.. life sucks? Because we can’t get other people to think the way we do, or understand things the way we understand them? So why even bother?”

“Well, that should not even be on our minds: life sucks. It’s really, whatever we see our parents do when we grow up, we copy them, we can’t help it, we just copy. So as we all have our own parents, we are raised differently. Which can cause, yes, unnecessary problems, but as this is a huge something that can’t be solved in a matter of minutes, we should just live our life while the earth is still working. I mean, life is not hard, we just make it hard. And whatever you’ve experienced in your past, or whatever that’s bugging you in the present, we have a choice. We have a choice to make in our own lives. Is to simply, choose to live or choose to live our lives as a robot. Well, the second one doesn’t really sounds appealing. Well, look around you, the most of us do live our lives as a robot: Get up, breakfast, school/work, go home, dinner, go to bed.. and then the routine starts over again the very next day. How boring? We have a choice, so let’s invest our voice and our talents into the good, instead of creating more hate every single day.”

“We just want to be happy.. everybody wants to be happy..”

“True. We just all want to be happy indeed. And as we live in a world and age where almost nothing is impossible to do on this very planet, we sometimes go to the weirdest places to find this happiness of ours. When we can’t seem to get it, we automatically panic and let ourselves be led by our fear: which is another shame. It’s all an illusion! It’s sad, how people constantly play the victim role and think their lives are just oh so horrible. Why spend all this time longing for love and happiness, without doing anything? Go out there! And be there for someone else. Let yourself be humiliated, to let another person shine this time. True happiness begins with a choice to make our own. So let us be ourselves and let us, this time, not be taken over by the devil. He’s laughing at some of us right now, because some of us are still not forgiving people from the past and are still not being themselves. Don’t be weak, because you are not! Our minds can sometimes make up so many illusions (Like: ‘You are ugly!’ ‘See.. you can’t do it.. now start being mean’ ‘I am so worthless, these people are right’), and how overwhelming we sometimes think it is, it’s really a challenge to face the truth and choose the good instead of the bad. Bad things will happen to you if you don’t start believing in our faith. Our God and where our true happiness lays.”

“Are you insecure?”

“I used to be, a lot. I hated myself and I hated my life. Everything sucked. I created up this wall and really, I wasn’t living at all. I just mostly lived for others, than myself. Right now I’m just trying to avoid any unnecessary weight, like stay away from people who are just simply too negative.. Also I used to be very negative about everything in life. If we start surrounding us with good, positive people (not all positive people are ‘fake’, come on..) we will start feeling less insecure, and that’s good. It’s sad to see people living in a circle all the time.. when they could be jumping up and down right now of the joy their happiness gave them, through God, really. Life is so beautiful and life is so worth living.. people don’t even realize how lucky they are living in this age and how lucky we are with our own life! You see, you have a life, you can do whatever, whenever with your life, not a life of somebody else. You can only control your own life. How special and unique? How great? Yes! It should be a privileged to us, to have an own life. Let us show the good in ourselves, so not only will this change ourselves, but this will automatically change our surroundings also. We should never feel insecure about our looks, because we sometimes just don’t seem to fit in the ‘perfect image’ of this world. We are all so beautiful.. and don’t give in the poison a bully is trying to give you. With head held up high, be the bigger person and be the winner. We should never feel insecure about other people who are closer to the ‘perfect image’, we should not be intimidated by these people: they are just people, just like you. Don’t let ourselves be led by our fear, because it’s very ugly. Be yourself, and if you can’t forgive one person.. you know where your limit is. And I thought we were going for the impossible? We can reach the impossible.”

“So, people, we need to start believing in the truth. Hate just creates even more hate, not peace or anything on the good side at all. The next time we feel we are not being ourselves, we should think about the bigger picture. For example: Does bullying gets us further in life? I don’t think so. So why even bother to put our energy in something that creates even more hate? Kind of pointless, really. We should put our energy into helping others with something they don’t have and be as reasonable as we could be. How great is life: it’s amazing if we start seeing the good that’s in everything around us, instead of just the bad.”

“Yes. And starting to be happy all the time and appreciate every good thing in our lives, instead of being just happy when we experience ‘happy moments’. If we would only be happy when we do something or see something we really, really like: we would seriously take a lot of things in life for granted. So much beauty in life: we just don’t see it.”

cylia loves smiles

She Loves Smiles: little words

I have something for you:

When you just feel like giving up.. Remember your goals for this year!


When we experience something negative in life, we are mostly put in circumstances we just somehow can't let go off. But, what's to be remembered is that we do not need to blame the circumstances.. We, as human beings, are extremely fragile: for either emotional damage or physical damage. And as we are sucked in a world image of a perfect couple, a perfect home, a perfect life and this and that, we, as very fragile human beings, can be totally off guard by this all.


Things get even more complicated, when we try to compare ourselves to others to make us look better. For example: someone is completely confused about another someone who can't seem to get out of a dilemma. That's because if we look at others, we usually do not oversee the details, but when we look at ourselves, we oversee so many important details. it's kind of ridiculous.


And why? It's because our pride and ego can be in the way of our real view of life. We need to understand that the negative thoughts in our minds are nothing but an illusion. And as we live in a world that's full of illusions, we then start to believe in these. We think we know.. but we have no idea..




I would like to ask a lot of people if they are genuinely happy, because most of the people are not.
and that makes my heart just crush.
Don't you just understand how beautiful you really are?



I would love to ask a whole bunch of people if they are completely themselves, whenever they walk on the streets.
Don't we just get all tired of being so tense all the time?
Don't we just get all tired of constant wanting to know what others think of us?
Don't we just get all tired of being someone we are actually not?


We CAN be ourselves,

We CAN be beautiful and cool at the same time without being someone we are not,
We CAN be popular without being rude or slightly arrogant,

We CAN put on our genuine smiley faces without hiding it.


you are so wonderful..


Maybe even start every morning, looking into the mirror and say: 'I am beautiful.'
or whatever secret you have, go to a painful past, for a weight that has to be lifted up.
(think of: 'I can be cool without my mp3 on', 'I am beautiful without make-up', 'I am sexy.')


And as we think of people in the very past, who had no Television, who had no Computer, who had no toilet in their own home or think of people who have very little money, who have experienced a genocide in Rwanda, who have experienced very horrific things and then think of your own situation. What's the fuss about? We really should be ashamed of how much we complain everyday, and even with all the money in the world or not even money, but all the opportunities in the world we still manage to play the victim role. It's sad.


We are never, never doomed to any icky situation you may caught yourself in. These are just circumstances we experience, and some circumstances may not come in handy at all, and some do, but then again, most of the circumstances never come in handy. It's always this or that to blame. We always seem to blame something or someone else. 'Oh, it was my sister who didn't come on time,' 'No, I couldn't run fast because my pants were wet,' 'I wasn't ready, because my dad forgot my lucky teddybear.'


We are eventually the ones, who will make our own decision. Do not blame the circumstance.
We get to choose in our lives, where we have to actually choose between the good and the bad.
And yes, we do mostly choose the bad one.
Why? It's because we live in fear all the time. We let ourselves be controlled by our fear and this world of media makes us feel even more pushed.

And sure we, as fragile human beings, make mistakes. We all do.
but that's alright, as long as you don't dwell on your mistakes and faults.
Do not dwell on your negativity: what's past is past.
It doesn't mean we can't think about the past, but don't over do it.
The only thing that's important about the past is the love you've been given and the love you've given. The negative part of our past: is to be forgiven.


And more about the forgiving part: mostly, we do not need to forgive another person, but we forget, that the person we need to forgive the most: is ourselves.
We tend to forget ourselves more than we forget others.
So begin to work on yourself and grow from there.



to know we are worth it,

to know we are more loved than we will ever know,

to know we are as equal as everybody else,

to know we are love.


love one another, and be there for everyone else, but never forget: be there for yourself also.
Nothing is harder than to love someone, when you do not even loved yourself first.



So the next time you sit in a train, waiting in a line or are waiting somewhere else do not feel uncomfortable: we are one, and we are so equal, if only we would know this. We are not strangers from eachothers. We do not divide people into groups or stereotypes, how blind can we be? We are again, then, living in an illusion.


It's really funny to see, when people play a victim role, when there's really no need to. It's kind of making a little fool out of yourself. Waste of our energy. And it's somehow so funny to see, when people are completely isolated in this illusion of things Men created. Don't make a fool out of yourself, because you are so much better than that.


Be free, once again.


Look at that picture when you were six..
where's that innocence? where did you go?


Do not be a victim of this society,
choose to be a hero,
choose to be happy.


It's not hard.. we just make it hard..





cylia loves smiles

She Loves Smiles: little words

I have something for you:

It's 2009 baby! a new year, and that means; a new start. So, what we want is to continue our beautiful smiles and continue whatever good we were already producing.. How to make a start?

1. A question to all of us: "What kind of people do we want to be?" The answer lays close to us, though, it seems so far away. Two things to be rememberd:
- Be calm;
- Be generous.

And what does it mean to be calm? Calm all the time? Calm whenever our lives are in dangerous? Let me portray an example: The phone is ringing, you pick up the phone, and the minute you pick up the phone, a woman from a telephone company starts to get very angry and very annoyed; she keeps blaming you for the wrong address you gave her and that things aren't going well because of you giving her the wrong address..
It doesn't matter if it was or wasn't the right address, but the point is: What to do in these sorts of situations?
This is a very, very good moment to not choose to get angry or frustrated towards the angry woman.
Be the bigger person, instead of joining and stimulate the frustration..
Whatever happends, we can not blame the circumstance.

As we go into 2009 we must decide what we want to achieve by the end of 2009.
Sometimes we have to decide before the circumstances come: that we will decide not to burst out in all kinds of impulsive emotions.
This becomes a choice in life..

Building character in our lives is making smart descions..

It's better to make smart descions than to, if we're already stuck in the trouble, just do what we'd like to do at that certain moment.

Talent is something we got, opportunities are things we recieve.

When we are old and have experienced a lot in our lives, we take off all the masks and have no boundaries for whatever we will do. But, we can make a change in that and make this descion earlier in life!

So we can ride through the ups and downs. We want people who are faithful; very important to build up our character. As we learn to keep our word, we learn to be faithful towards life.
Another thing what's good to change our character to is: to be kind of heart.

Be kind hearted..

Sometimes we feel very annoyed by people and some people deserve to be annoyed by. Choose to show kind of heart in a situation where it's hard to be the bigger person. People will annoy us along our lives, but it's up to us to change how we are towards people and it's not the task of the circumstances.

"(..) how we should be is quick to listen and slow to speak (..)"
"(..) Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you." (James 1:19 -21)
Proverbs 29:18: "Where there is no vision the people are unrestrained, but happy is who keeps the law."

We live in an age where we are so free to do almost anything we want, to get something done we should keep our word and stick to it. And that's to be happy.

You and I are the same.. When we decide to do things we stand for, when we learn to keep our promises and learn to have a great character, we will be happy.

Be genenours towards people: give our friends compliments, give our parents compliments, be there for the people who need it and give what you have to others who do not have these.
Sure it's hard: who said life was going to be easy? We can make it through, we will be happy with ourselves, we are wonderful, we are good, we can survive.
We got to understand that we can't always live on the high points of our lives, and nobody can always live on the low points of our lives.

When we are searching for help and love, we always try to look for help in others, but the truth is, that the help we need is right in our own hands.

2. Learn something new in 2009!
We should never, ever stop learning.. We go to school or work to learn how to learn, not to just learn all the facts. Make a list of what your dreams and goals are for this fresh, new year! And start making descions by the end of 2009.. Start to learn to play an instrument, or go to college, learn a new trick, learn about our own community, help others.. you name it!


And what happends, if we start seeing the happiness in everyone and everything in our lives, we will turn back to the person who we really are..

cylia loves smiles

She Loves Smiles: little words

I have something for you:

Whatever we may do in the present, when we come across situations that are hard to deal with, we always seem to blame the past. When we haven't been raised by our own parents, that we somehow feel disconnected with those who are raised by their own parents or whenever we just came out of an abused/horrible/icky relationship, we can't seem to find love that easily and built up this invisible wall around us. But why so? that's the hard question to answer, because we are led to believe that everything we go through is way harder than it actually really is.
And though it might be hard to believe that our problems don't need to effect our present, it is the truth.
We have to see it as a sort of circle of negativity we're pulled in, whenever we experience negative things. We may not see this circle, but it's what we feel inside of us. But we have got to know, that these are all illusions.
How can we be genuinely happy if we keep believing in these illusions, Men made us believe?

We have got to dig deep,
no excuses,
no keep turning back into the past,
no excuses,
it's about our own lives.

our own happiness, that is all.

Because we are not held back by the love we didn't recieve in the past, but we are held back by the love we are not willing to recieve in the present.

cylia loves smiles

P.s. I wish you all a very, very good and loving New Year 2009! Make sure you make a lovely wish or commitment to yourself at the counting! To better ourselves.

She Loves Smiles: little words

I have something for you:

We have one life and why not live your life to the very fullest? When you have the opportunities, try and make something out of it. Sometimes we think that we have to seek for our own happiness and have to seek for God. But that’s where it’s misunderstood. It’s already there, He is already here. We just have to be a landing place, where everything can land in our life. Choose to be free and choose to be happy, my friend.

It might be hard in the beginning, but when we do, we feel so much more alive and we do not have to worry about, really, unnecessary things like: have to have the newest clothes, tanning, watch in everything that can reflect ourselves, get drunk because we don’t dare to go on the dance floor without alcohol, put on too much make-up, get nervous when we see someone that’s perfect according to the media, get nervous because we come across types of people we dislike, buy or look into every fashion magazine that’s in the store, to look good in every picture that’s taken of us, to have lenses instead of glasses because we don’t want to look dorky, walk very fast whenever we are in a place that’s making us feel a little bit uncomfortable, hate things/persons because we know it reminds us of something/someone that didn't make us feel ok, make pictures where we show more of us than we should with the intention that guys/girls will like us more, get nervous around famous people, be loud/rude because we want attention, pose a certain way whenever pictures are taken of us, wanting to know what others think of us, and just, be in fear all the time and have the urge of being someone we are not.

Tell me, do you have a ‘secret’?


cylia loves smiles

She Loves Smiles: little words

I have something for you:

Today, I'm going to write my little words based on this sentence: Don't take anything personal.

In the world we are living in right now, it's hard to avoid the fear that's among us. And when someone has to say something to you, that might hurt a bit or a lot, it can sometimes be a little overwhelming.. But that's where we have to draw a line!

When we do not take things personal, we can easily feel free from the fear and be happy with whatever, whenever.
When people say bad things about us and we take it personal, we are giving into the poison that person is trying to poison us with.
When we take it personal, we are not free and we will be far away from feeling happy with our own life.

When someone says to me: "Cylia, you are so ugly it hurts my eyes," or "Cylia, you can't do anything right, you are a piece of worthless shit.", I will not take this personal, because I know, it does not say anything about me. Because I know the things that person just said to me, says nothing about me, but says something about that person. That person is poisened by his/her own behaviour.
Even when people say good things about me, I do not take it personal. It doesn't mean you can't be happy with the lovely comments, but it's about the art of feeling completely happy about yourself without bad or good comments.

We know we are strong, we know we can make it, we know we are wonderful, we know we can reach the impossible, we know it all. And most of all, we know we are not weak.
The person who says bad things about you is trying to poison you and is hoping you'll give in to this. But we know we are not weak, so we will not give in and we will not take over the ugly poison, that person may have spread, because we know that we are strong.

you are so, so worth it!

cylia loves smiles

'If you haven't tried things more than a hundred times, then you have never lived your own life. -Cylia'

cylia loves smiles

She Loves Smiles: little words

I have something for you:

It's almost Christmas! but really, in this period of time.. especially us, women, we can feel the changes of each season. And, well, December might be portrayed as a fun and loving month, but it can be also a month of loneliness and emptiness. We, of course, have to avoid these. But how?

1. Make sure you don't exclude yourself from the fun that comes with most of people their Christmas! It doesn't matter if you've never had a nice, loving, warm X-mas.. it's just, we do not have to make ourselves even more miserable. If Santa is no where to find near you, no worries! Sometimes, we do not have to find the love in anybody else, but we have to look for it our own. So, it will definitely not harm anyone, if we buy ourselves our own lovely gift! **And look at it this way: now, you don't have to go through those moments of grin-and-bear-it teeth gnashing whenever you get a gift you don't actually wanted..

2. Make your own 'dream-plan/life'. What's better than to be swept away by your own unlimited fantasy for just a while? And don't leave it with just thinking.. write it down!

First, make two lists to make your dream even more clear. The first list is everything you would like to have in your life, it can either be changes about yourself or changes about situations you're in (or no changes at all!). The second list is everything you would like to get rid of in your life..

Then, if your two lists are done, you can start making your dream-plan/life. Maybe you've always dreamed about having a charity to help children suffering from Aids? Or a shop, or something as small as a new bike that you'll keep your whole life? You name it! It's your dream and it's your fantasy! Go for it. **Nobody has to see your dream lists at all, you can just keep it all to yourself..

3. Go on the Internet and go to all sorts of sites that'll make you forget the whole Christmissy theme.. I've got a couple of sites for you:

- http://www.quizilla.com/ (Imagine it, create it, share it);

- http://344design.typepad.com/ (Daily Monsters! make your own.. or meet all the other monsters!);

- http://www.playlist.com/?home=a (Make your own playlist! like the one on She Loves Smiles blog);

- http://www.purelessons.com/ (Always wanted to play piano? Well here's your chance! With a video and all, it's way easier!);

- http://www.compoundgallery.com/, http://www.sourharvest.com/thinkspace/ (For artsy fartiesss, follow their blogs or buy/check out all the lovely art!);

- http://flickr.com/ (Share your photos, watch the world);

Well. that will keep ya busy! oh! you can also make one of those funny e-cards! send it to anyoneee, anyone will appreciate some love in Christmas time. promise.

4. Smile whenever you feel like smiling! Randomly somewhere, everywhere. Help ourselves feel more like ourselves. Even if we just feel a smile popping up in our head instead upon our faces, it doesn't matter, it's just the feeling we need to love when we are smiling..

any other tips anyone? leave one for the better!

cylia loves smiles

p.s. I want a white, white Christmas! what do you want? Help me pray for a fun, snowy Christmas this year! Slideeee, slide away with our sledsss!

there's no need to hate - Jun. 28th, 2007 - 7:04 pm - Cylia:

"It's all fake, if you call anyone fake, then we are all fake ok. nobody can hate if you've never tasted the world, hate is such a weak conclusion and way out. with hate you only persue more hate, which is never fun. everybody deals their problems and confusing emotions/feelings differently so we, in the end, have different opinions on different sides, because we have different amount or a different side of experience. which makes this all so complicated, which it really isn't at all. some are given patient, some are given unpatient. some are given shy and some are given loud. all different, but actually if you look closer, the emotions that are behind these being completey shy or being completely loud in first appeareance is total different, because these emotions are just something that we see in people the most, which is another confusing thing. we see these emotions in some people the most and then we automatically label them as being thé loud one or thé shy one. which is what we call 'stereotyped'. it's the emotions that we see in them the most, but it doesn't mean they're completely like that? no. it isn't how they're like, because you see, as nobody will mostly understand, is that we are all the same. we have the same heart and the same emotions, but some feelings of others are just more 'out there' and some not. if you look closely, and compare these emotions step by step, you'll see that we have the same problems all together, but just in a different way. which is also a thing that is very confusing, we just don't seem to get each other. and this all, put a shame on our foreheads. a big shame.

and makes this all to a point and a conclusion, i'm too lazy to even talk about this any further, because this robe will never end. very sad, i wish i could make an end to the silly minds that are wondering, wondering to make their 'dream come true'. it's blind. everyone is blind, blind to their own life. especially the young people who get drawn into these groups that made them 'save' and rebellish.

and all they ever say is: 'now listen, motha fucka. there's no need to fucking shout at me and say fucking shit, because you don't know who i am. you don't know what i've gone through, so shut the fuck up and watch, you'll see. shut the fuck upp, you don't know shittt.'
oh. well, don't we know shit then? how in the world are we so smart then? how in the world are things being invented then? how in the world are you still alive then? how in the world do you get fancy clothes and smell nice then? how come ha? uh.. maybe because we live in a rich and wealthy side of the world? and don't need to 'fucking' complain about the situation? don't make it worse. because it's already bad. there's absolutely no reason for anybody to act this way. nonsense. i mean, just look at yourself and question yourself what in the world you are really doing? and for who in the world you are really doing it for? to impress? probably."

cylia loves smiles

She Loves Smiles: little words

I have something for you:

We want peace in our minds and we want to feel free in our own life.. but where to begin?

How much we want people to think and understand things the way we think and understand them, we can't change people. We can have influence on other people, but in the end, it's the choice of another. We can only work on ourselves and that's where we have to begin. It's to start on ourselves than to be all overwhelemd by the emotions or actions of other people. Start with yourself.

Begin a day where you try to observe everything you are doing and how this effects others. If we are happy with ourselves, we can be happy for others. If we are not happy with ourselves, it's hard to be happy for others.

Another tip: you can also start a conversation with a mirror (I know, sounds totally out of place), and you will see yourself in a different light. You can also record yourself while having a conversation with a camera and see the results afterwards. It's quite funny, try it.

So before we judge, we need to think about ourselves first.

It's important to get to know ourselves more, to eventually know how to genuinely be happy for someone else.

cylia loves smiles

"A lotery. with luck you can win one. balancing our way to the top, our goals and wishes. the feeling that's seeking for truth. Unconsicously living a lie, following into deep. we can achieve so many great things, with power and strength. walk away from the negative and give yourself a rest. dont hesitate, dont doubt. it's of course your decision in the end. but dont lose yourself by impressing others. dont let your soul be taken away by others. make chances that'll benefit you. think about the lovely things. deepest and darkest thoughts are hidden away in your head. afraid or scared. where will it take me. out of place, blindfold. where lays the solution, its up to you. if you dont step it up, no one will. -Cylia" (my oldest quote, from 2004)


cylia loves smiles

smile with all your heart...



something I wrote maybe, 2 years ago:

i can ask for 'unique' people,
people who will shine through their flaws and isnt 'fake'.
but how many of those are there?
not many.
and how easy are they to find?
and if you find them,
arent you just placing yourself into a 'group'?
so many people describe; 'dont judge a book by its cover'.
but how many people do so?
so people who you call fake, arent they just as equal as you are?
just because of their looks doesnt mean they act so,
maybe their shell,
and they might be hard on the outside,
but theyre as jiggly as a soft pudding on the inside.
well,
while you're intense searching for those,
i'll be meeting up some real people.
you can't just ask what you want in people,
because we are all 'unique', right?


cylia loves smiles

I think you know what I’m getting at..
I find it so upsetting that, the memories that you select..
You keep the bad but the good you just forget..
And even though I’m angry, I can still say: I know my heart will break that day.
When you peel out and drive away.. I can’t believe this happened..
And all this time I never thought, that all we had would be all for none?

No, I don’t hate you..
Don’t want to fight you..
Know I’ll always love you..
But right now I just don’t like you..
Cause you took this too far..

This didn’t turn out the way I thought it would at all,
you blame me, but some of this is still your fault..
I tried to move you, but you just wouldn’t budge,
I tried to hold your hand but you’d rather hold your grudge!
I think you know what I’m getting at..
You said goodbye and I just don’t want you regretting that.
And wisdom always chooses, these black eyes and these bruises,
over the heartache that they say: never completely goes away
(I just can’t believe this happened and one day we’ll see this come around)

What happened to us?
I heard that it’s me we should blame..
What happened to us?
Why didn’t you stop me from turnin out this way..

And know that I don’t hate you
And know that I don’t want to fight you
And know I’ll always love you..
But right now I just don’t…

cylia loves smiles


p.s. lyrics is from Relient K!

She Loves Smiles: little words

I have something for you:

Spend your monthly salary this time not on a pair of shoes, new clothing or just new material things.. Money is something material also (though, money is crucial these days), and if you are living your life to the fullest, it would not harm to give out your money on something that'll lasts longer than any material thing. Maybe save 10 precent of your monthly salary for a college or an investment for greater good. And other things out of the ordinary like: pay the groceries of a stranger, buy something for someone who can't afford it.. you name it! As we step out of our comfort zone, we take our life to another level, we are getting closer to perfect (not perfect, as in perfect like the media says, but perfect in our own way.. Perfect with the feeling you are free as a bird and living, loving your life to the fullest).


And if money is scarce.. don't feel pushed my friend.
You will always have your own, lovely smile!
And bring that to others, let us see how great you really are..

We do not know where one smile can take someone,
Show kindness, you just might be thát fresh air for someone.
Love one another, love one another, love one another, love one another, love one another, love one another, love one another, love one another, love one another,



cylia loves smiles

"People who look down to a presence that’s different from their own is a hate that’s so sad to see happening. “Who are you?” “Where do you come from?” We don’t need to make any statements of these questions. As we built through this so-called ‘world’ we can’t stop by someone’s background. I will not answer. I will not let myself be stopped from having my fun; from having my piece of this ‘world’. Because I will not let you stop me from pursuing my goals. -Cylia"

cylia loves smiles

She Loves Smiles: little words

I have something for you:

Every morning we wake up to experience another day in our life. Every day you wake up another day, a new chance, a new smile, a new you. Why not Celebrate this even more?

1. Put a pen and a diary/notebook/piece of paper next to your bed or under your pillow, and when you feel you're on the tip of waking up: do not open your eyes! keep your eyes closed and write immidiately what you can remember about your dream(s). **It's easier to write down words instead of long sentences, as you are writing with your eyes closed.

And then, go Google your dream! (like: http://www.dreammoods.com/)

Your dreams are your deepest thoughts and what you really want in life.
But remember though, dreams are a intrepretation of all our thoughts: so, yes, dreams can be pretty odd.

2. Wake up and write somewhere or say out loud the people you keep close to your heart. Only mention the people who you really love and care for. **Good for those, who don't dare to say 'I love you,' 'I like you,' 'you mean more to me than you could ever imagine.'

(Think of at least 5 people, you can't limit yourself with just 2 persons or 1)

3. Wake up and put on a smile..

(Try it before you immidiately think of conclusions)

cylia loves smiles