"Cylia, your ego is sometimes really in the way of who you really are."

"Yes. I know. Sometimes I let my pride and my ego in the way of what I really want to do in life."

"Why would you be someone else than yourself?"

"Because even though I've grown up here and there, we still live in a world that has a certain image for everyone how they should be or not.. and that sometimes can turn into me, wanting to be someone I am not."

"Aren't you tired of being so uptight all the time?"

"I'm not so uptight anymore, because right now I feel peace in life, because I have made the decision to live my life to the fullest: is to be happy and be genuinely myself. From the age.. lets say, fourteen till sixteen, something drastically changed in myself. It's of course being a teenager (thinking that the whole world revolved around me), but also something in my mind just made things ten times worse."

"And what about the negative experiences? How do you deal with that?"

"You know, what's past is past. and that’s me, saying this right now. But maybe a year ago, I would not be able to just say this. It's to forgive and forget. It's not like you can't think of your past at all, but it's knowing the fact that, that happened, and that right now, that's not important anymore. Because we are not held back by the love we didn't receive in the past, but by the love we are not willing to receive in the present. And what is negative? Some may see something so not important to others, as something oh so negative and the other way around. But whenever we see something as negative, we have to think if it's reasonable (and not just reasonable in our point of view), if it's not some sort of thinking because other people you adore think it's something negative, if it's not some sort of ego thing (that we let our fear, pride get the best of us).
And if we learn to forgive people or even things, we will make a whole new path free for ourselves: to get unnecessary weight off of our shoulders. Because really, little frustration and little annoying things that happens, starts with unnecessary weight upon our shoulders."

"Yes. but you know, a lot of people say that they know these stuff already.. and if that's really the truth, why do people keep on getting themselves tangled up in unnecessary trouble?"

"A lot of people do just know these stuff yes. How to be happier, how to be themselves etc. But there's the problem: they know what to do, but they are not willing to stand up for the truth.
I mean.. who wants to be the odd one out? Nobody, really. We are led by our fear and led to believe that every media illusion around us is the truth. It's really sad to see, not in like a pathetic way, but it's sad, because we are so beautiful, but we sometimes just portray ourselves as ugly beasts to be honest. I can be so ugly when I'm really angry (that does not happen very often with me these days, luckily). I can be popular without being rude or look like the 'perfect image' of Hollywood: is to be, just myself. And it’s really the little things people forget, that can turn into something big. For example: bullying. Well, some bullies are so incredibly talented and intelligent, on picking up stuff very quickly, but they just use their energy for something negative, which is a real shame. They know it’ll hurt these kids, but they just simply don’t care, which is another real shame, because really what they are doing, is living in a big, big illusion and big, big lie. And one bully is scared for another bully, so they’ll keep on feeling tension from each other, which will not stop any bully or stop any little frustration from getting blown out of proportion. Why is there a need to create so much drama, really? And to be someone we are just (face it) not.”

“So.. with all the different problems we all have, we just make things even more complicated than they really are.. it’s just.. life sucks? Because we can’t get other people to think the way we do, or understand things the way we understand them? So why even bother?”

“Well, that should not even be on our minds: life sucks. It’s really, whatever we see our parents do when we grow up, we copy them, we can’t help it, we just copy. So as we all have our own parents, we are raised differently. Which can cause, yes, unnecessary problems, but as this is a huge something that can’t be solved in a matter of minutes, we should just live our life while the earth is still working. I mean, life is not hard, we just make it hard. And whatever you’ve experienced in your past, or whatever that’s bugging you in the present, we have a choice. We have a choice to make in our own lives. Is to simply, choose to live or choose to live our lives as a robot. Well, the second one doesn’t really sounds appealing. Well, look around you, the most of us do live our lives as a robot: Get up, breakfast, school/work, go home, dinner, go to bed.. and then the routine starts over again the very next day. How boring? We have a choice, so let’s invest our voice and our talents into the good, instead of creating more hate every single day.”

“We just want to be happy.. everybody wants to be happy..”

“True. We just all want to be happy indeed. And as we live in a world and age where almost nothing is impossible to do on this very planet, we sometimes go to the weirdest places to find this happiness of ours. When we can’t seem to get it, we automatically panic and let ourselves be led by our fear: which is another shame. It’s all an illusion! It’s sad, how people constantly play the victim role and think their lives are just oh so horrible. Why spend all this time longing for love and happiness, without doing anything? Go out there! And be there for someone else. Let yourself be humiliated, to let another person shine this time. True happiness begins with a choice to make our own. So let us be ourselves and let us, this time, not be taken over by the devil. He’s laughing at some of us right now, because some of us are still not forgiving people from the past and are still not being themselves. Don’t be weak, because you are not! Our minds can sometimes make up so many illusions (Like: ‘You are ugly!’ ‘See.. you can’t do it.. now start being mean’ ‘I am so worthless, these people are right’), and how overwhelming we sometimes think it is, it’s really a challenge to face the truth and choose the good instead of the bad. Bad things will happen to you if you don’t start believing in our faith. Our God and where our true happiness lays.”

“Are you insecure?”

“I used to be, a lot. I hated myself and I hated my life. Everything sucked. I created up this wall and really, I wasn’t living at all. I just mostly lived for others, than myself. Right now I’m just trying to avoid any unnecessary weight, like stay away from people who are just simply too negative.. Also I used to be very negative about everything in life. If we start surrounding us with good, positive people (not all positive people are ‘fake’, come on..) we will start feeling less insecure, and that’s good. It’s sad to see people living in a circle all the time.. when they could be jumping up and down right now of the joy their happiness gave them, through God, really. Life is so beautiful and life is so worth living.. people don’t even realize how lucky they are living in this age and how lucky we are with our own life! You see, you have a life, you can do whatever, whenever with your life, not a life of somebody else. You can only control your own life. How special and unique? How great? Yes! It should be a privileged to us, to have an own life. Let us show the good in ourselves, so not only will this change ourselves, but this will automatically change our surroundings also. We should never feel insecure about our looks, because we sometimes just don’t seem to fit in the ‘perfect image’ of this world. We are all so beautiful.. and don’t give in the poison a bully is trying to give you. With head held up high, be the bigger person and be the winner. We should never feel insecure about other people who are closer to the ‘perfect image’, we should not be intimidated by these people: they are just people, just like you. Don’t let ourselves be led by our fear, because it’s very ugly. Be yourself, and if you can’t forgive one person.. you know where your limit is. And I thought we were going for the impossible? We can reach the impossible.”

“So, people, we need to start believing in the truth. Hate just creates even more hate, not peace or anything on the good side at all. The next time we feel we are not being ourselves, we should think about the bigger picture. For example: Does bullying gets us further in life? I don’t think so. So why even bother to put our energy in something that creates even more hate? Kind of pointless, really. We should put our energy into helping others with something they don’t have and be as reasonable as we could be. How great is life: it’s amazing if we start seeing the good that’s in everything around us, instead of just the bad.”

“Yes. And starting to be happy all the time and appreciate every good thing in our lives, instead of being just happy when we experience ‘happy moments’. If we would only be happy when we do something or see something we really, really like: we would seriously take a lot of things in life for granted. So much beauty in life: we just don’t see it.”

cylia loves smiles