"Cylia, your ego is sometimes really in the way of who you really are."

"Yes. I know. Sometimes I let my pride and my ego in the way of what I really want to do in life."

"Why would you be someone else than yourself?"

"Because even though I've grown up here and there, we still live in a world that has a certain image for everyone how they should be or not.. and that sometimes can turn into me, wanting to be someone I am not."

"Aren't you tired of being so uptight all the time?"

"I'm not so uptight anymore, because right now I feel peace in life, because I have made the decision to live my life to the fullest: is to be happy and be genuinely myself. From the age.. lets say, fourteen till sixteen, something drastically changed in myself. It's of course being a teenager (thinking that the whole world revolved around me), but also something in my mind just made things ten times worse."

"And what about the negative experiences? How do you deal with that?"

"You know, what's past is past. and that’s me, saying this right now. But maybe a year ago, I would not be able to just say this. It's to forgive and forget. It's not like you can't think of your past at all, but it's knowing the fact that, that happened, and that right now, that's not important anymore. Because we are not held back by the love we didn't receive in the past, but by the love we are not willing to receive in the present. And what is negative? Some may see something so not important to others, as something oh so negative and the other way around. But whenever we see something as negative, we have to think if it's reasonable (and not just reasonable in our point of view), if it's not some sort of thinking because other people you adore think it's something negative, if it's not some sort of ego thing (that we let our fear, pride get the best of us).
And if we learn to forgive people or even things, we will make a whole new path free for ourselves: to get unnecessary weight off of our shoulders. Because really, little frustration and little annoying things that happens, starts with unnecessary weight upon our shoulders."

"Yes. but you know, a lot of people say that they know these stuff already.. and if that's really the truth, why do people keep on getting themselves tangled up in unnecessary trouble?"

"A lot of people do just know these stuff yes. How to be happier, how to be themselves etc. But there's the problem: they know what to do, but they are not willing to stand up for the truth.
I mean.. who wants to be the odd one out? Nobody, really. We are led by our fear and led to believe that every media illusion around us is the truth. It's really sad to see, not in like a pathetic way, but it's sad, because we are so beautiful, but we sometimes just portray ourselves as ugly beasts to be honest. I can be so ugly when I'm really angry (that does not happen very often with me these days, luckily). I can be popular without being rude or look like the 'perfect image' of Hollywood: is to be, just myself. And it’s really the little things people forget, that can turn into something big. For example: bullying. Well, some bullies are so incredibly talented and intelligent, on picking up stuff very quickly, but they just use their energy for something negative, which is a real shame. They know it’ll hurt these kids, but they just simply don’t care, which is another real shame, because really what they are doing, is living in a big, big illusion and big, big lie. And one bully is scared for another bully, so they’ll keep on feeling tension from each other, which will not stop any bully or stop any little frustration from getting blown out of proportion. Why is there a need to create so much drama, really? And to be someone we are just (face it) not.”

“So.. with all the different problems we all have, we just make things even more complicated than they really are.. it’s just.. life sucks? Because we can’t get other people to think the way we do, or understand things the way we understand them? So why even bother?”

“Well, that should not even be on our minds: life sucks. It’s really, whatever we see our parents do when we grow up, we copy them, we can’t help it, we just copy. So as we all have our own parents, we are raised differently. Which can cause, yes, unnecessary problems, but as this is a huge something that can’t be solved in a matter of minutes, we should just live our life while the earth is still working. I mean, life is not hard, we just make it hard. And whatever you’ve experienced in your past, or whatever that’s bugging you in the present, we have a choice. We have a choice to make in our own lives. Is to simply, choose to live or choose to live our lives as a robot. Well, the second one doesn’t really sounds appealing. Well, look around you, the most of us do live our lives as a robot: Get up, breakfast, school/work, go home, dinner, go to bed.. and then the routine starts over again the very next day. How boring? We have a choice, so let’s invest our voice and our talents into the good, instead of creating more hate every single day.”

“We just want to be happy.. everybody wants to be happy..”

“True. We just all want to be happy indeed. And as we live in a world and age where almost nothing is impossible to do on this very planet, we sometimes go to the weirdest places to find this happiness of ours. When we can’t seem to get it, we automatically panic and let ourselves be led by our fear: which is another shame. It’s all an illusion! It’s sad, how people constantly play the victim role and think their lives are just oh so horrible. Why spend all this time longing for love and happiness, without doing anything? Go out there! And be there for someone else. Let yourself be humiliated, to let another person shine this time. True happiness begins with a choice to make our own. So let us be ourselves and let us, this time, not be taken over by the devil. He’s laughing at some of us right now, because some of us are still not forgiving people from the past and are still not being themselves. Don’t be weak, because you are not! Our minds can sometimes make up so many illusions (Like: ‘You are ugly!’ ‘See.. you can’t do it.. now start being mean’ ‘I am so worthless, these people are right’), and how overwhelming we sometimes think it is, it’s really a challenge to face the truth and choose the good instead of the bad. Bad things will happen to you if you don’t start believing in our faith. Our God and where our true happiness lays.”

“Are you insecure?”

“I used to be, a lot. I hated myself and I hated my life. Everything sucked. I created up this wall and really, I wasn’t living at all. I just mostly lived for others, than myself. Right now I’m just trying to avoid any unnecessary weight, like stay away from people who are just simply too negative.. Also I used to be very negative about everything in life. If we start surrounding us with good, positive people (not all positive people are ‘fake’, come on..) we will start feeling less insecure, and that’s good. It’s sad to see people living in a circle all the time.. when they could be jumping up and down right now of the joy their happiness gave them, through God, really. Life is so beautiful and life is so worth living.. people don’t even realize how lucky they are living in this age and how lucky we are with our own life! You see, you have a life, you can do whatever, whenever with your life, not a life of somebody else. You can only control your own life. How special and unique? How great? Yes! It should be a privileged to us, to have an own life. Let us show the good in ourselves, so not only will this change ourselves, but this will automatically change our surroundings also. We should never feel insecure about our looks, because we sometimes just don’t seem to fit in the ‘perfect image’ of this world. We are all so beautiful.. and don’t give in the poison a bully is trying to give you. With head held up high, be the bigger person and be the winner. We should never feel insecure about other people who are closer to the ‘perfect image’, we should not be intimidated by these people: they are just people, just like you. Don’t let ourselves be led by our fear, because it’s very ugly. Be yourself, and if you can’t forgive one person.. you know where your limit is. And I thought we were going for the impossible? We can reach the impossible.”

“So, people, we need to start believing in the truth. Hate just creates even more hate, not peace or anything on the good side at all. The next time we feel we are not being ourselves, we should think about the bigger picture. For example: Does bullying gets us further in life? I don’t think so. So why even bother to put our energy in something that creates even more hate? Kind of pointless, really. We should put our energy into helping others with something they don’t have and be as reasonable as we could be. How great is life: it’s amazing if we start seeing the good that’s in everything around us, instead of just the bad.”

“Yes. And starting to be happy all the time and appreciate every good thing in our lives, instead of being just happy when we experience ‘happy moments’. If we would only be happy when we do something or see something we really, really like: we would seriously take a lot of things in life for granted. So much beauty in life: we just don’t see it.”

cylia loves smiles

She Loves Smiles: little words

I have something for you:

When you just feel like giving up.. Remember your goals for this year!


When we experience something negative in life, we are mostly put in circumstances we just somehow can't let go off. But, what's to be remembered is that we do not need to blame the circumstances.. We, as human beings, are extremely fragile: for either emotional damage or physical damage. And as we are sucked in a world image of a perfect couple, a perfect home, a perfect life and this and that, we, as very fragile human beings, can be totally off guard by this all.


Things get even more complicated, when we try to compare ourselves to others to make us look better. For example: someone is completely confused about another someone who can't seem to get out of a dilemma. That's because if we look at others, we usually do not oversee the details, but when we look at ourselves, we oversee so many important details. it's kind of ridiculous.


And why? It's because our pride and ego can be in the way of our real view of life. We need to understand that the negative thoughts in our minds are nothing but an illusion. And as we live in a world that's full of illusions, we then start to believe in these. We think we know.. but we have no idea..




I would like to ask a lot of people if they are genuinely happy, because most of the people are not.
and that makes my heart just crush.
Don't you just understand how beautiful you really are?



I would love to ask a whole bunch of people if they are completely themselves, whenever they walk on the streets.
Don't we just get all tired of being so tense all the time?
Don't we just get all tired of constant wanting to know what others think of us?
Don't we just get all tired of being someone we are actually not?


We CAN be ourselves,

We CAN be beautiful and cool at the same time without being someone we are not,
We CAN be popular without being rude or slightly arrogant,

We CAN put on our genuine smiley faces without hiding it.


you are so wonderful..


Maybe even start every morning, looking into the mirror and say: 'I am beautiful.'
or whatever secret you have, go to a painful past, for a weight that has to be lifted up.
(think of: 'I can be cool without my mp3 on', 'I am beautiful without make-up', 'I am sexy.')


And as we think of people in the very past, who had no Television, who had no Computer, who had no toilet in their own home or think of people who have very little money, who have experienced a genocide in Rwanda, who have experienced very horrific things and then think of your own situation. What's the fuss about? We really should be ashamed of how much we complain everyday, and even with all the money in the world or not even money, but all the opportunities in the world we still manage to play the victim role. It's sad.


We are never, never doomed to any icky situation you may caught yourself in. These are just circumstances we experience, and some circumstances may not come in handy at all, and some do, but then again, most of the circumstances never come in handy. It's always this or that to blame. We always seem to blame something or someone else. 'Oh, it was my sister who didn't come on time,' 'No, I couldn't run fast because my pants were wet,' 'I wasn't ready, because my dad forgot my lucky teddybear.'


We are eventually the ones, who will make our own decision. Do not blame the circumstance.
We get to choose in our lives, where we have to actually choose between the good and the bad.
And yes, we do mostly choose the bad one.
Why? It's because we live in fear all the time. We let ourselves be controlled by our fear and this world of media makes us feel even more pushed.

And sure we, as fragile human beings, make mistakes. We all do.
but that's alright, as long as you don't dwell on your mistakes and faults.
Do not dwell on your negativity: what's past is past.
It doesn't mean we can't think about the past, but don't over do it.
The only thing that's important about the past is the love you've been given and the love you've given. The negative part of our past: is to be forgiven.


And more about the forgiving part: mostly, we do not need to forgive another person, but we forget, that the person we need to forgive the most: is ourselves.
We tend to forget ourselves more than we forget others.
So begin to work on yourself and grow from there.



to know we are worth it,

to know we are more loved than we will ever know,

to know we are as equal as everybody else,

to know we are love.


love one another, and be there for everyone else, but never forget: be there for yourself also.
Nothing is harder than to love someone, when you do not even loved yourself first.



So the next time you sit in a train, waiting in a line or are waiting somewhere else do not feel uncomfortable: we are one, and we are so equal, if only we would know this. We are not strangers from eachothers. We do not divide people into groups or stereotypes, how blind can we be? We are again, then, living in an illusion.


It's really funny to see, when people play a victim role, when there's really no need to. It's kind of making a little fool out of yourself. Waste of our energy. And it's somehow so funny to see, when people are completely isolated in this illusion of things Men created. Don't make a fool out of yourself, because you are so much better than that.


Be free, once again.


Look at that picture when you were six..
where's that innocence? where did you go?


Do not be a victim of this society,
choose to be a hero,
choose to be happy.


It's not hard.. we just make it hard..





cylia loves smiles

She Loves Smiles: little words

I have something for you:

It's 2009 baby! a new year, and that means; a new start. So, what we want is to continue our beautiful smiles and continue whatever good we were already producing.. How to make a start?

1. A question to all of us: "What kind of people do we want to be?" The answer lays close to us, though, it seems so far away. Two things to be rememberd:
- Be calm;
- Be generous.

And what does it mean to be calm? Calm all the time? Calm whenever our lives are in dangerous? Let me portray an example: The phone is ringing, you pick up the phone, and the minute you pick up the phone, a woman from a telephone company starts to get very angry and very annoyed; she keeps blaming you for the wrong address you gave her and that things aren't going well because of you giving her the wrong address..
It doesn't matter if it was or wasn't the right address, but the point is: What to do in these sorts of situations?
This is a very, very good moment to not choose to get angry or frustrated towards the angry woman.
Be the bigger person, instead of joining and stimulate the frustration..
Whatever happends, we can not blame the circumstance.

As we go into 2009 we must decide what we want to achieve by the end of 2009.
Sometimes we have to decide before the circumstances come: that we will decide not to burst out in all kinds of impulsive emotions.
This becomes a choice in life..

Building character in our lives is making smart descions..

It's better to make smart descions than to, if we're already stuck in the trouble, just do what we'd like to do at that certain moment.

Talent is something we got, opportunities are things we recieve.

When we are old and have experienced a lot in our lives, we take off all the masks and have no boundaries for whatever we will do. But, we can make a change in that and make this descion earlier in life!

So we can ride through the ups and downs. We want people who are faithful; very important to build up our character. As we learn to keep our word, we learn to be faithful towards life.
Another thing what's good to change our character to is: to be kind of heart.

Be kind hearted..

Sometimes we feel very annoyed by people and some people deserve to be annoyed by. Choose to show kind of heart in a situation where it's hard to be the bigger person. People will annoy us along our lives, but it's up to us to change how we are towards people and it's not the task of the circumstances.

"(..) how we should be is quick to listen and slow to speak (..)"
"(..) Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you." (James 1:19 -21)
Proverbs 29:18: "Where there is no vision the people are unrestrained, but happy is who keeps the law."

We live in an age where we are so free to do almost anything we want, to get something done we should keep our word and stick to it. And that's to be happy.

You and I are the same.. When we decide to do things we stand for, when we learn to keep our promises and learn to have a great character, we will be happy.

Be genenours towards people: give our friends compliments, give our parents compliments, be there for the people who need it and give what you have to others who do not have these.
Sure it's hard: who said life was going to be easy? We can make it through, we will be happy with ourselves, we are wonderful, we are good, we can survive.
We got to understand that we can't always live on the high points of our lives, and nobody can always live on the low points of our lives.

When we are searching for help and love, we always try to look for help in others, but the truth is, that the help we need is right in our own hands.

2. Learn something new in 2009!
We should never, ever stop learning.. We go to school or work to learn how to learn, not to just learn all the facts. Make a list of what your dreams and goals are for this fresh, new year! And start making descions by the end of 2009.. Start to learn to play an instrument, or go to college, learn a new trick, learn about our own community, help others.. you name it!


And what happends, if we start seeing the happiness in everyone and everything in our lives, we will turn back to the person who we really are..

cylia loves smiles